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Prayers please….

My father, who is 68 years old, is undergoing testing today for COPD. He has congestive heart failure and has had 3 heart attacks since he turned 45. His last heart attack was in 2006, eleven months after the death of my mother. He suffers from sleep apnea and has had a cough and chest congestion since Christmas. He doesn’t like seeing doctor and so it’s been a fight getting him to finally go and get tested.

As an only child, I don’t exactly have anyone to fall back to when things like this happen. As a single mother, I also have two children to take care of as well. Well… okay… one child. My daughter is almost 21 and has made it very clear she doesn’t need me or my “help” at this point.

Anyway. I’m drifting off topic.

Please… pray for my dad. I just want him to be okay. At 68, he’s already outlived the men in his family by three years. He’s got so much left to do and, of course, it’s the selfish plea of a child who doesn’t want to lose her remaining parent.

If He takes us to it, He will see us through it.

I’ve always understood that saying and yet, in times like today, I find myself unable to fully rely and let go.

I’m still praying for my daughter and yet, she seems to keep turning more and more away from the Church and more towards this “Wiccan” path she seems so determined is the right choice.

My son needs prayers thought, too, and, being younger, I feel he needs me more right now. He’s going through a difficult emotional time right now and our pediatrician just started him on a very low dose medication for his add and insomnia. I can only hope it helps. He’s a very good kid and rarely, if ever, causes trouble of any kind. Recently, though, as he is going through puberty and all sorts of growing up, he’s not sleeping, has trouble focusing, and is short tempered. I do what I can, but sometimes it feels as if I am falling short.

My father is going to the doctor tomorrow to be tested for COPD. Poor Dad, he really never has healed from losing my Mom back in 2006. He misses her so much and yet he’s never really let himself just grieve. He’s just tried to keep going. I almost lost him to a heart attack not long after Moms death. He’s all I have left. I’m an only child so… If I lose my father, I’ll really be alone. He does so much for everyone. He teaches middle school and is the associate pastor of a small church as well. I worry for his health, though, and feel helpless when he’s sick.

Please, Lord, let the rest of this week go by with as little drama and pain as possible. I know You will see us through it all, but I could really just use a break for a little while.

Monday Monday

I spent the day today with my kids at Six Flags. We had a good time. But now that we’re home, everyone has once again gone their separate ways to do whatever it is they do when we’re not hanging out as a family. I remember, when my mother was alive, how she used to say she was never as lonely as when everyone was home. I absolutely understand exactly what she meant.

I think, without a doubt, the hardest thing I am going through right now is trying to understand my 20 year old daughter and her sudden desire to leave the Church to become a Wiccan. She keeps saying she’s a “Christian Witch” but I know there is no such thing. The commandments say we are to worship the Lord God and only Him. She has also decided she is bi-sexual or… some other word I don’t quite understand: pansexual. I don’t know what to do for her except pray this is a phase she will soon pull out of before it’s too late.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
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